


It's Worth a Shot

by hanktalkin



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Bad Sex, Established Relationship, First Time Topping, M/M, Negotiations, Switching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 03:09:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10296134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanktalkin/pseuds/hanktalkin
Summary: “like, established relationship, but demo has always topped. I think it would be cute having Jane's first time topping, trying real hard to do well. cute fluffy smut where he might mess up but they laugh it off and everything is good.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thanatoaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thanatoaster/gifts).



> For Alexi’s birthday: thanks for being my inspiration and my motivation all rolled into one! I couldn’t have written half the things I did without you, and a small gift like this isn’t even enough to show my appreciation <3

Snorting with laughter, tugging on clothes, stumbling even though they’d barely had three drinks between them, the pair of star-crossed lovers made it to their hideaway with neither RED nor BLU the wiser. The door shut behind them, one of them dragging the other further inside, but neither sure if he was the one being dragged or the one doing the dragging. They bumped into a wall, Demo taking the opportunity to press Jane against it and kiss him under his jaw.

“You’re a bloody bampot,” he chuckled, already forgetting what Soldier had said to make him think as such.

“Oh yeah?” Soldier snorted, barely serious. “Well then you’re a boomput. Which is a thing I just invented, but it’s what you are.”

Demo laughed, his booming voice filling the small room. They could be as loud as they wanted out here. They could cry and holler and spend nights whimpering each other’s names, and no one would come. It was sanctuary.

Moving away from the wall, Demo dropped onto the room’s only seat—the mattress—and attacked his boots. Soldier joined him, pressing against the Demoman’s side, suppositionally because the room was already so cramped.

In reality, he just liked the closeness. Not that he’d ever tell Demo that; despite going through a WAR, a reunion, and more whispered apologies than he could even keep track of at this point, there were just some things you didn’t say. The Soldier’s heart creaked just thinking about them all, how often he wanted to tell Demo he loved him. The RED could always find the words, but he couldn’t, and they tried to get along just fine without them. They had jokes and ribbing and general banter, and that was enough most of the time.

“Thinkin’ deep thoughts, laddie?” Demo asked into his shoulder.

Soldier blinked. His boots had already been off for a few minutes, but he’d just been staring into space while Demo waited.

“Yes. I was. Strategizing,” Soldier coughed.

“Funny,” Demo said, nuzzling Soldier’s neck again. “So was I.”

Soldier hummed in response. More appreciative noises escaped him as Demo snuck a hand to clutch at the front of his shirt, then turned his head to give him a kiss. It was deep, easy, letting Soldier know that they wouldn’t be taking things hastily tonight. He returned it, tongues brushing against one another in familiarity.

Gradually, he was pushed back against the bare mattress. One arm wrapped around Demo’s middle, while the other was thrown above his head in relaxation. This was fine. (More than fine if he was being honest.) Slow, lazy nights were just as powerful as their quick trysts after they hadn’t been with each other in a few weeks. As long as they got to the same place, it didn’t matter how fast they went.

After making out for at least half an hour, Soldier’s breath grew heavier as he became more aroused. Demo didn’t miss it, shifting his body just so. It was a good position, Demo still half on him, straddling his leg so he had a thigh against Soldier’s dick.

“Any requests for the night Janey?” Demo asked serenely.

Soldier could feel Demo’s own cock against his leg, but the RED never started on himself before knowing where they were going. It was just how he was, he was the sort who like to pamper; liked to stroke and pull and coo at until Soldier was practically begging to be done.

“Affirmative. I request that we fuck.”

Demo snorted, a hot wave of breath against Soldier’s cheek. “How original. Way tae break the cycle of the last three years.”

“Excuse you, I believe I broke that cycle for the year we hated each other. Chessmate, maggot.”

“It’s ‘checkmate’,” Demo replied, pulling back to give Soldier a smirk. “And I believe I’m equally responsible for that little diversion.”

“Hmr. Schematics.”

“Semantics.”

“Shove-it-up-your-ass-ics,” Soldier said drily. “And if you ever want to have sex again, you better stop correcting me.”

Demo chuckled, but stopped with his smartass comments. Or at least, Soldier thought he did. “Well, if you’ve got nothin’ in mind for our little affair, I think I may have a suggestion.” He leaned in again, hushed voice right against Soldier’s lips. “Why dunnae you be on top for the night?”

“Uhhhh…” Soldier’s mouth went dry. Had he heard that right? Demo had whispered it like it was supposed to be something sexy, but it was pretty damn far for that in Soldier’s mind. “I…what?”

Demo tilted his head. “You: be on top. Me: take it up the arse.” He frowned. “Nae a good idea then?”

“No!” Soldier sputtered. “I mean…yes? I just uh…” He couldn’t think of a way to say anything without making the situation even more awkward. “Why would you? Want? To?”

That made Demo’s forehead crease even more. “Well, er, why nae? I mean, it’s a pretty damn good feelin’ when someone’s gettin’ you right where you need tae be gotten. Isnae that why you like it?”

Hoo boy was that loaded question. Every feeling Soldier had suppressed since their first night together came back at once. Sure he’d come to like bottoming, but the first time he hadn’t even known how good it would be. The only reason they’d started out like this was because he was scared.

Scared of being with another person for the first time. Scared of figuring out how all of this worked, of letting Demo know just how ignorant he was. It had been and easy decision to make, to pass off that responsibility to someone else. And, after time, he’d gotten used to the pampering. Demo was amazing. When they slept together, he practically worshiped Soldier’s body, treating him like the most important thing in the universe. So yeah, after a while, he’d gotten used to how things were.

“And it’s just been so long since I’ve been fucked right good. Nae since before I met you. So, I guess if you were up tae it, it’d be nice tae try again.” Demo looked like he’d been kicked, already regretting bringing it up.

Oh. Fuck. Soldier swallowed a guilty bubble in his throat.

“I- fuck. It is…complicated.” That was the understatement of the century. But Demo just looked more confused, so Soldier pushed them both into a sitting position so he could try and explain himself. “Look. Tavish I…I don’t think I can. I’ve never suggested switching it up before because—and don’t you fucking laugh at this— but this is the only time I’ve ever felt good enough to… _surrender_ to someone before. When, I’m with you, it’s okay, and I don’t have to be one hundred percent in control of myself. I can let go. I can trust. I’m just afr-” No, not afraid. There was no fear inside his warrior’s body that he’d let anyone see. “I’m concerned. That if I were the one who’s got control over you, I’d hurt you.”

“You’d ne’er hurt me,” Demo cut in immediately.

“Like I haven’t before?” Soldier asked glumly. “Even if I wouldn’t, it’s not the point. The point is that I _might_ , and I just…do not want to face that.”

There was stiff silence between them. Soldier felt he couldn’t look at Demo, not after he’d just shared so many of his fears. Even as he thought that, he realized how much everything came back around to control.

“Huh. Er…well?” Demo coughed awkwardly. “I had no idea that was why. I mean, it’s a little strange…”

“I told you not to fucking laugh.”

“I’m nae laughin’!” Demo promised, putting up his hands defensively. When Soldier just growled in response, Demo put a hand on his arm. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m nae goin’ tae press the issue if you feel that strongly. I just want you tae know: the trust goes both ways. I _know_ you’d listen if I told you tae stop, or if somethin’ was goin’ wrong, and I have confidence that you’d do your damned hardest. So just, keep that in mind, aye? If you e’re change your mind, I’ll be ready tae give it a go.”

Soldier took a long breath. He tried to push all the anxiety out in that one gush of air, sending into the room and out of his body. Talking about things that didn’t involve booze or the art of war was probably his least favorite pastime.

It’s not that he didn’t want to give it a try, but there was just so much…stuff in the way. Not like physical stuff that he could blast with his rocket launcher, but emotional stuff that was stuck to his mind like the indeterminate slime at Probed. He just couldn’t think about it was all.

Instead, he leaned sideways, back into Demo. “Thanks.”

“Dunnae mention it.” Demo kissed him on the cheek. Soldier returned it with his own, this time on the lips, and the couple resumed their gentle snogging.

The night stretched on, Demo pushing Soldier back into the mattress and helping to undo his uniform. Soldier attempted to return the favor, but his hands kept getting lost along Demo’s skin, taking in his warmth through the pads of his hands. He was all sensation, loving every breath they shared in the small room, catching fragments of the night sky through the high window. A slip of deep purple and its white stars, only visible as Demo occasionally shifted above him. Fog grew in puffs upon the glass, as heat passed between their now naked bodies.

Despite it, Soldier’s mind was elsewhere. Sure he loved this but…why did Demo think it was about trust? The thought made his stomach clench, he _knew_ Demo trusted him, it was more about not trusting _himself_ …

“…Still on your mind, eh?”

Damn. Demo could always read him like a book.

Soldier dropped his hands from where they’d been clutching at Demo’s hair and let them flop against the mattress. He sighed. “You know I would like to. I always like to try the new stuff, but it would be so different. _I’d_ have figure out everything to do, and what goes what with which one.”

“What?”

“Exactly.”

“You make it sound like rocket science,” Demo chuckled, kissing Soldier on the ear. “I swear, it’s nae as hard as you’d think.”

“Stop laughing,” Soldier grumbled through the kisses.

“I’m nae laughin’ _at_ you,” Demo said, putting a little space between them. “I’m tryin’ tae help. It’s like you’ve built up this whole thing in your mind about what happens, but really, it’s nothin’ like that. Do you think I could honestly think that hard ‘n fuck at the same time?”

Soldier looked past Demo as the frosted stars in the window. “…Tav? I’d like to try.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. And if it does not work out, then we will be back to square one.” It’d be okay. No consequences. He could do this. He reached up and kissed Demo, just to be sure.

Carefully, they switched positions, most of their clothes already tossed to the side as Soldier rolled the Demoman onto his back. He didn’t stop moving, worried that if he did, he’d remember how—concerned—he was. Once Demo was resting comfortably on his back, he looked up at Soldier with a smirk.

“Hey. Dunnae worry. It’s just sex, you’re good at that.”

Soldier shoved him with a laugh. “Boomput.”

Nestling in between Demo’s legs, Soldier wound his hand around Demo’s cock. Leisurely, he stroked him, but his mind was already losing track of what he was doing. They usually brought out the bottle of lube even before penetration, didn’t they? And sometimes Demos used it while he stroked Soldier off, just to make it smoother. Should he be doing that?

“I…” The question caught in Soldier’s throat as he realized he’d broken his _don’t think about it_ rule. Now he was desperately urging himself to just _ask for help you idiot_.

Demo lifted his head from where he’d been enjoying Soldier’s attention. He raised an eyebrow, always sensitive to Soldier’s moods.

Soldier let out a breath. “Should I get the bottle out now?”

“Aye, so you’re nae too preoccupied later.” Demo watched Jane retrieve it, moving his hand over to keep his cock semi-hard. “Do you, I dunno, want me tae talk you through it?”

“I do not need to be spoon-fed instructions like a eight-year-old learning to play the trumpet!”

Demo rolled his eye. “Jane, I know you’re under a lot o’ stress right now, but can you decide whether you want tae be mad at me or nae?”

“I have never decided to be mad ever in the history of my life.”

Pouring a generous amount of lube onto his fingers, Soldier returned to Demo’s erection with renewed vigor. The groan of pure bliss that escaped the other mercenary was…surprising. Soldier quickened his pace, his own thrill at mastering Demo’s arousal was overpowering, and watching him squirm at the pleasure was creating a sensation Soldier had never quite felt before. He rocked forward onto his knees, pressing his own cock against Demo’s and jerking them both off. Now he could pin Demo’s other hand with his own, sending him flush against the mattress.

“A little…fast…Janey…” Demo huffed suddenly. “Goin’ tae come before we even have any fun…”

Soldier practically froze, realizing he was about ready to go to. His neck warmed, thinking how dumb it would be if his first time topping he never even made it inside.

“I dinnae mean stop,” Demo whined, picking up his head.

“Quit your bitchin’,” Soldier told him, and pulled his hand away. He hesitated—he didn’t want to be babied, but he needed to trust Demo for these things he wasn’t sure of. “So…now we’re stretching, right?”

“Aye. It’s important tae stretch before engagin’ in any strenuous exercise.”

“If you could stop being a smartass for thirty minutes that’d be great.”

Putting a little more lube on just to be safe, Jane slid his hand back down Demo’s length and past his taint. He spread his cheeks with one hand, and sunk a different digit in. Demo’s body tensed immediately, and Soldier tired not to be nervous. He’d done that their first time too, but with careful pressing and pulling, the fingering could actually be a pleasant experience as long as the fingers were gentle. Soldier could be gentle.

Another finger, and Demo winced again. Soldier pressed a kiss to his stomach, copying the movements he’d learned from all their time together. (Only it was like trying to play professional baseball after years of only watching it on TV, all technique without really knowing _why_ ). He’d been spreading Demo for what felt like ages now, and the RED was still twitching like every probe hurt him. A knot of dread began to form in him.

“You uh, doing alright Tav?” he asked, failing to hid the concern in his voice.

“Fine,” Demo said shortly, which didn’t increase Soldier’s confidence. “It’s just…been a lot longer than I thought. Just keep goin’.”

He didn’t sound alright, but Soldier had to trust he knew his limits. Managing to get all three fingers in was a psychological hurdle that was almost impossible to overcome, and Soldier gripped Demo’s hip like it was his one lifeline. Each twitch and Demo gasped with discomfort. This wasn’t right; by now Soldier would have been begging to be fucked, what the hell was he doing wrong?

Exasperated, Demo wheezed, “let’s just! Try it.”

“You sure?”

Demo lifted his head, giving a pained but genuine smile. “I am. I got this, and I know you’re goin’ tae do well when it comes down to it.”

Deep breaths. Demo was right, it was just sex. Things they’d done together dozens of times before, if only a bit differently. But as long as he was with the Demoman, nothing would go wrong. It was a strange sort of bond they had, full of past deceits and betrayals, but now it was stronger than steel.

Soldier readjusted himself, looking down at Demo with his own smile. One hand holding Demo’s leg steady, the other guiding himself in, Soldier began to push into the man beneath him. The tightness around his cock was foreign, giving him a sense of power he didn’t want. There was a harsh sucking in of breath—and he hesitated—but Demo insisted he was fine.

Slowly, they folded together, and Demo’s back arched with delight. That was the first good sign in a long time, and Soldier smiled despite the sharp panting. But it was short lived; all the sudden it hit him where exactly he was and what was about to happen. Oh god he was really going to do this, even with all the parts of his brain telling him he shouldn’t. It wasn’t until Demo’s hand found his own that he felt his confidence return.

His first thrust went deep, and Demo immediately hissed. It would have been hard to keep going if not for the squeezing of his hand, egging him on. There was no rhythm to it, every movement Soldier did seemed wrong and he had to beat back thoughts of _oh god I can’t do this_. Demo still looked like he was in pain, if only Soldier could make it feel good for him…that was it! If he could find his prostate he would start to loosen up; that’s how it had worked before.

The BLU searched. He tried to find the spot inside the Demoman that he knew would make him holler, each motion a probe into his body. The thrusts were aching him too, the strain of holding back becoming harder and harder until. Too late. It was too much.

His whole body shuddered.

It took several seconds—far too long—to realize oh shit. He lifted his chin from his chest to give Demo a look of complete shock.

Demo was just as confused. It took one look of awkward silence for him to say, “Jane. I dunnae how tae break this tae you. But I think you just pulled off a one minute wonder.”

Demo wasn’t even close to being hard, probably since Soldier had forgot to keep touching his dick. Now they were both flaccid, except somehow in his complete botching of their lovemaking, Soldier had become a quick draw.

The full realization was just starting to sink in, total and complete mortification just on the edge of Soldier’s consciousness, when Demo laughed.

It was a short bark of a laugh, but as the red was forming in Soldier’s cheeks and in the rest of his body, it snowballed into Demo’s belly shaking roar. He shuffled backwards until Soldier was out of him, then flopped onto his side with mirth.

Wiping at his eye, he looked up at the shell-shocked Soldier. “Well. We did it. We had the worst sex of all time.”

And for the first time, even though Demo was practically crying with laughter, Soldier didn’t feel like he was laughing _at_ him. Because, well, Demo was right. This was the worst possible scenario. And it wasn’t that bad.

Soldier started to laugh too, ignoring his post-orgasm exhaustion. The whole time he’d been worried about it going wrong, but going wrong wasn’t half bad. He dropped onto the mattress with his best friend, knowing that as long as he had him, things would find a way to turn out okay.

“Do you want me to help you with that?” Soldier asked between snorts about Demo’s neglected boner.

Demo stopped laughing long enough to smirk. “Nah, I’m bushed for the night.”

“Okay,” Soldier agreed softly. “And uh, sorry. But you know we can always try again next time.”

“Really?” Demo blinked.

“Yeah,” Soldier smiled with confidence. “I mean, after that? There’s no where to go but up.”

Demo disintegrated into laughs again. He threw on arm around the Soldier and pulled him against his chest. The two stayed like that until they’d laughed themselves into exhaustion.


End file.
